Breaking OpenMay 19, 2023
I used to believe that bodies could be broken...
I had been taught about all the ways bodies, hearts, and minds could break in nursing school.
Then, I was certain that I was broken. Turning my head to look over my shoulder caused intense pain in my neck. I couldn't eat a meal without bloating. And to top it all off, I had painful volcanic zits all over my jaw and back. Relationally, I was caught up in people pleasing mode and found myself in an abusive, toxic relationship.
With excruciating clarity, I remember the pressing weight of hopelessness suffocating me like I could barely breathe. I didn't know if I could ever feel better because I had already done what I was supposed to do- taken what I was prescribed and followed all the rules. Why wasn't it working!?
So there I was, feeling utterly broken and full of despair.
I remember in my most painful moments, how I considered un-aliving myself. I considered how I might go about it, only to hold back on my plan because of the statistics on success rates.
Then, one of my best friends called me out of the blue and it was a life changing conversation.
I allowed myself to be seen and heard. I shared what I was going through and broke the isolation.
Breathless and stuttering, I remember how scary it felt at first then how everything began to just pour out of me.
After leaving my abusive relationship, I began to heal in deep ways. I found bio-hacking, then later Functional Medicine and used the techniques I began to learn to retune my nervous system, replenish stress depleted vitamins and minerals, and revive my body and mind from the inside out.
~✨Now, I see how wise the body is✨~
The truth is, I was never broken.
My body and mind were simply responding to the inputs coming in from my environment. And despite how I felt in those moments, those signals in the form of my symptoms were calling to me to listen and to change. Those symptoms that I was trying to push away were what woke me up.
I see now that my body was inviting me to live the life I desired. One where I not only was safe and secure, but present to my gifts and allowing myself to shine.
That dramatic shift happened 6 years ago and I can hardly believe what it unearthed. I feel incredibly grateful that for that invitation. It has truly transformed my life.
I have my body to thank for sending up its red flags🚩 in a way that I could not ignore.
I also have my friends and family to thank. As much as I like to say that I am independent and don't need others, I am deeply intertwined with my community.
My journey has taught me a number of things.
One, the body isn't doing something "bad" even when it feels bad- noticing these symptoms is an invitation to go deeper. Traditional medicine with its symptom masking approach often serves to ignore some of the deeper culprits. Additionally, it pathologizes symptoms, making the body "the bad guy" and putting us in an adversarial relationship with our own selves.
Two, we are meant to journey together. We lift each other up, call each other out, and offer each other strength. Those moments are an integral, indispensable part of healing.
Let's get real for a moment. Chances are, you have found me because you don't feel well.
Take this as your invitation to lean in.
What if instead of pathologizing, blaming, shaming, or guilt tripping yourself, you used a little compassionate curiosity to understand why your body is sending you the signals that it is? How could things change?
There are so many ways to do this. If you would like a little help brainstorming what this could look like, I invite you to chat with me for a free 15 minute call. Like I said, community is an integral part of healing. Now you're a part of my community and helping others heal is my gift ;)
I've been where you are. Let me guide you to something better.
May you have everything you need for healing,
Start working with me today!
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